1001 Uses For Dental Floss #53- A Squirrel with a Sweet Tooth

Another baby tooth-pulling story, as reported on CBC News (it wasn’t even a slow news day- the Brexit surprise just happened): A Montreal dad is in it for the big time. After entering the fray with the use of a drone to pull his daughter’s tooth last summer, 6-year-old Mila Freiheit’s father thought that the next step up would be to use a live animal to do the job. Luckily, not anything large and dangerous like a pitbull or a racehorse, just a squirrel with a sweet tooth. This girl’s dad attached the tooth via a length of floss to a granola bar. The squirrel gave a tug and off went the tooth, so loose that the floss just popped it out. He filmed it all with 3 cameras. And the squirrel didn’t have rabies.

What next? Mila still has a bunch of baby teeth that will be loosening up over the next 5 or 6 years, so this could really escalate. The ultimate, I think, would be to lure aliens to use their UFO to do the job. Failing that, (I don’t believe in aliens- sorry, Mulder and Scully) maybe a police car racing off to fight crime, or an elevator, with the little girl in it and the floss hanging out and attached to some object outside it, like a potted plant). How about using a float at the gay parade? Or maybe the dad can attach the tooth to Scotland as it tears itself away from England one of these days.

I have news for the dad, though. It’s illegal to feed squirrels in a park in Westmount. There’s a $50 fine for doing that. Will Mr. Freiheit be charged? Stay tuned. I hope the drone flight last year was legal.

Flossing is still legal though. Squirrels do it, sort of. So you keep doing it too.

 

http://www.cbc.ca/news/trending/squirrel-tooth-pull-1.3652989

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1001 Uses For Dental Floss #48- Removing Loose Baby Teeth

Did you ever wonder how to get that really loose tooth out of you child’s mouth without going to the dentist or letting nature take its course? We’ve all heard of the homemade way of pulling out a loose baby tooth by putting a loop of floss around it and attaching the other end to a door knob, and…slam! Ouch!

Some parents are much more creative than that. One parent attached the far end to a golf ball, then sent the tooth down the fairway. Another tied it to the bumper of his car (really, he actually did) and with his kid sitting on a lawn chair behind the car, gunned the engine and took off down the driveway. One very innovative approach used a remote-controlled model airplane, another used a running dog. All very wild and crazy ways that parents with love in their hearts do cruel things to their children.

There’s also the baseball technique (I won’t describe it- use your imagination if you dare), the rocket technique (pretty unpredictable) which may be how NASA engineers do it (well, no, it’s actually a model rocket that does the work), the mini-motorcycle technique (I  want to unknow this one), the Nerf gun method, and, not to be believed but documented, the tractor pull.

I don’t recommend any of these, especially since the tooth might not be as loose as you think and the method fails; your child will never forgive you. Does anyone know how to spell PTSD? If in doubt, there’s one person who knows: the dentist.

Use the floss for what it was intended.